Why is an Indian Parent lied to?

This article has been submitted by Mrinaal Datt for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think it’s a good read, ‘Like’ the article (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘Comments’ section below.

Why do Indian children lie to their parents? It’s a question that I have asked myself ever since I first lied to my parents over a trivial matter that I can’t even seem to recollect now. And before you judge me, I want you to think, long and hard, about the last time you lied to your parents. It does not have to be something major- just anything, like maybe your tests scores or that you bunked a class for a movie. I’m pretty sure you’ll think of one. If you can’t, then either you’ve got some really cool parents or you’re just a compulsive liar!

After pondering over this question, I could think of two reasons. Firstly, they care for us; after all, they’re our parents and secondly, they don’t trust us. While the first reason is something that I can totally understand, the second reason makes them go OTT (for those of you not familiar with modern-day lingo, it’s Over the Top) leading them to stop trusting us with our decisions, our choices, our friends, our dressing – you name it, you have it.

How many of you have told your parents that you drink? Or that you’re in a relationship? Or you’re going out for a movie and not for sincere “group studies”? I guess not a huge numver. From what does this lack of divulging information stem from? The lack of trust. Because no matter how much they stress on the fact that they are our “friends” (apparently, it is a tactic that most parents use), they will never be able to digest the fact that you drink or are dating someone because obviously “log kya kahenge” and of course, the fact that they look at every friend of yours as a “bad influence” on you. What does the child do after having been bitten once? The next time, the child lies. Because the child was seeking a friend in his parents as promised but unfortunately, lost himself in their judgments.

A child learns everything from his parents but once the phase of growing up begins, topics that are taboo are shushed instead of being explained and dealt in a mature manner. If you dare to ask “Why?” the reply “because we say so” comes promptly.

Sometimes, I think they’re a part of the problem themselves. How else would you explain the coincidence of your parents asking you to fetch a glass of water or switching the channel when an intimate scene plays out on the television? Avoiding it, instead of addressing the issue with a teenager whose hormones are raging, is the reason why we have so many uninformed pre- adults in the country. Also, how do you explain the subtlety with which your parents ask you to avoid mixing with people from the opposite sex once you grow up? Their actions make them a part of the problem. Instead of dousing a child’s curiosity, you’re ignite it further. Of course you’re going to create liars!

This is a sad state of affairs because when I read my Facebook News’ Feed these days, all I come across are articles on unwanted teenage pregnancies, children running away from their homes and falling into troubled waters. These articles make me cringe. Because maybe, just maybe, if a parent had guided them in their actions instead of a peer, they would have been in a much better place!