Torments on a Topper

This article has been submitted by Somil Garg for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think this article is a good read, ‘Like’ this article on Facebook (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘comments’ section below.

He stands in a corner there, all alone, all by himself. Sorry, not alone, loads of silent air accompany him too. As it always is, the grey and yellow classroom still awaits the second customer of the day. Beside a self-imposed purdah system, that is to say, a veil of broken-spine books, he tries to walk out nimbly, without being hurled the common abuse, but no, there the sadist god comes into play. Within seconds, someone from the gaily clad humanity dotted outside in the corridor shouts-“Oh, topper!”

Sigh. The usual beginning of a ‘topper’s’ day. Politely defined, a topper is someone who is degraded enough to do futile works such as coming first in class. What did you think, dear? Of a person with bright eyes, radiant cheeks flushing with pride and stepping out with ten people behind and a click in his legs? Definitely not. In fact, when put together, the odds of a topper’s life make one groan. Chill! I have sensed with as weak mental faculties as yours truly, needs to be more direct. Read on, be enlightened.

To begin with, there is always a perfect start awaiting you, unfortunately a topper, anytime at any conversation.”Oho..topper!”I mean, are we a next-to-extinction breed? Only 1411 left? The way  people exclaim at a topper, it seems as if Harry Potter just walked in. This particular ‘greeting’ is a culprit for many fights, I can assure you!

The story doesn’t end here. In fact, it begins with it. The second immoral thing that we toppers do is to complete our assignments.

“Hey, have you completed your work?”

“Yeah”

“Of course, topper as you are”.

Just be kind enough, we wish to say, why else was it given? And the best part is these same lads are a moment later, pleading for our notebooks!

The best is yet to come. The conditions become much more ‘pleasant’ when we don’t do our homework. As a topper, no wait, I’ll stop using this word, ‘Unspeakable’ is better. Yeah, so, as an Unspeakable stands with his head bowed in punishment, they get ogled at as if it’s Brad Pitt naked or something. We are also your brethren, we wish to say, but that’s not how things go.

To crown it all, there are exams. Infinitely more than the number of questions in the exam is the number of times we are asked-“Did you study?” “How long?” And the immediate answer from the Kaun Banega Crorepati hosts themselves comes back-“Yeah, must’ve studied all night!” No, no, dear friend, all night is an underestimation. Why don’t you say 25 hours a day? And very ironic, didn’t they themselves study? Or did they spend their time talking to cobwebs in their rooms? Disgusting is the only word that pops up in your mind.

The jewel in the crown- The Last Judgment day- is the report card day. From the hundredth part of the second we enter the class to the hundredth part of the second we leave, looks brimming over with hate shower upon us. Did we commit some grave crime?(apart from coming first, of course…)We unintentionally become the cause of numerous house-peace breakdowns, pc snatches, mobile phone snatches, which finally ends in much of a breakdown of our ‘alleged’ brethren themselves!

The fact is, we toppers are a part of a caste system turned upside down-looked down upon by “C” graders, shown a bit of precious mercy by “B” graders and supported only by a few unfortunate ones like us, “A” graders. Whatever it is, it is my sincere request to all my readers-India is famous for unity in diversity, so not for us, not for yours, but for India’s-Accept us!