Even When He Is No More, by Anuraag Mathias

This article has been submitted by Anuraag Mathias for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think this article is a good read, ‘Like’ this article on Facebook (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘comments’ section below.

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It was August in 2003. I was seven and in 2nd grade. My mom was at home and my dad had gone to work.

He used to work in a rig in Bombay High. That’s actually all I knew about his work back then. He used to go to the rig by a helicopter from the mainland, which took roughly 5 minutes of flight over the Arabian Sea.

A phone call. My mom switched on the TV. News. And there it was – ONGC helicopter crashed in the Arabian Sea. There was a list of people termed as ‘Missing’. We were all anxious. My elder brother was only eleven, but he was trying to keep it together so that my mom or I wouldn’t break down.

Anyway, it is highly improbable that a man survives two whole days inside the sea and is just ‘missing’. It was all very obvious, even to a seven year old.

I was taught religion since my childhood. I saw an unwavering faith in my parents. This faith helped me immensely – it helped us all immensely – to overcome this incident as a family. We found peace which could come from nowhere else. Listen to me when I say this, we all need God for something or the other in our different lives.

Yes I loved my dad. Who doesn’t? However, I never knew him enough to miss him for who he was. I was so young that I never even realized what a ‘father’ actually is. I was, and still am, only ever able to miss the idea of having a father.

There are two things we, at least I, learned from this.

First, never let go of your parents (either one). You are fortunate enough to have grown up with both of them around for the majority of your mouldable childhood. Respect them for whatever they say, because they only ever think for your betterment. Listen when they scold. They may be angry at the time (we are all humans, after all) but the level of intelligence of their points is higher at that specific time than any other time. Your ego shouldn’t (mustn’t) matter. They have worked all their lives trying to secure for you, a better life.

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An entirely different thought now.

There are times when we give things (or people) an unneeded continuity of influence. That some thing (or person) might be very significant to you at a certain time in your life. In my case, it was my father. He affected every single moment of my life then. However, I never knew him enough to look up to him, or to stand by his values in the future. In short, his influence (doesn’t necessarily mean love) in my life ended.

In the same way, learn to let go. Are you sad because you broke up with someone (at 17-18, really?) who you never really loved (different from ‘liked’ or ‘infatuated with’ or ‘lusted for’) and were in a relationship just because it seemed cool? Stop it! There are people who don’t have any family. And here you are, fighting with yours just because ‘the love of your life’ didn’t really live up to those 5 words.

Learn to let go. There is no point in lamenting for things already out of your reach. Face the reality – you have to live without it/him/her.

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I lost my father. Fortunately for me, my faith provides for me the heavenly Father, to whom I can go for all the little things I would have expected from my dad.

I realized I was mourning unnecessarily after 9 years of his death.

When did you start your lament? Are you ready to let go?

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Anuraag Mathias is a seventeen-year-old law school aspirant. He’ll enter adulthood in July this year. He likes reading and eating (even though he is very thin). He follows football like no other thing and is a huge Manchester United fan. He wishes all of you the best in your life and the endeavors within it.