A Dropper’s Diary

This article has been submitted by Prerna Seerwani for the CLATGyan Blog Post Writing Competition. If you think it’s a good read, ‘Like’ the article (the button is at the bottom of this piece) or post a comment using the ‘Comments’ section below.

May 19
2:30 am
A post on CLATGyan Facebook Group by one of the members stated: “www.clat.ac.in – open this link and witness your life getting screwed, live!”  With such motivation, I logged into my CLAT account with trembling fingers. My worst fears came true. My fingers became still, my body numb and life seemed to come to a stand still. The only things in motion were my tears.

May 21
6 pm
Got an email from a reputed private law college. I felt alive again, made up my mind to join it but a tinge of despondence remained. I went to a teacher and asked him if I was doing the right thing. He said, “As long as you have not given your 100%, you don’t have a right to expect a good result.” That day, I made up my mind. I needed to give myself a second chance. I had not done justice to my potential. I decided to take a drop.

July 1
I joined a coaching centre. The first few months were relatively free and I made some awesome friends. I started enjoying my life again. I  still didn’t talk to people outside coaching, the reason being that they bombarded me with questions I didn’t have an answer to.

October 5
3 months went by. I found my self-esteem back and would now answer questions asked by people confidently. “Yes, I have taken a drop and I am happy with it!” But, back in the coaching class, I felt that I was losing track. My mock marks started plummeting and frustration began to overcome me. Thanks to some friends, I was able to manage this phase well. My mock marks were still low but I kept doing what I was supposed to do: study!

January 12
In the last few months before the exam, the fire in me was raging. An air of competitiveness, anxiety and fear filled the atmosphere. Students studying from morning to night, teachers busy in preparing extra mocks and mock marks were getting discussed everywhere. All this was enough to intimidate a child, but those who kept calm, sailed well.

May 1
AILET was hell and the CLAT countdown had begun. A race started – a race to prove my efforts.

May 8
3-5pm
The day finally! 2 hours. Easy paper. Much jubiliation.. OVER !

Please read the last word in the above line again. OVER. What I mean is that your drop year ends with the exam and not your results. Results are surely what you want but they, in any way, don’t sum up your efforts of the whole year. Only you know how hard you have worked. Make sure you satisfy yourself with the preparation you do. I would like to give few tips to all the future droppers:-

1. Never think that you are wasting your time. You are, in fact, spending it to improve yourself.
2. You may think that your peers are joining colleges and having all the fun in the world but be a little foresighted. Joining a college you don’t want/deserve would give you a lifetime regret.
3. Don’t just study all the time. A drop year is a sort of a creative break. Do explore yourself, give time to your passions and people. But never forget the original goal. A few productive distractions would work like a strategic time-out.
4. Stop doubting your worth. Mock marks are not a reflection of your original CLAT score. They are just a parameter to grade your efforts and to guide you in your preparation. Scores will keep changing and the only thing that should remain still and calm is you.
5. Let fear not cripple you. Fearing results would only make you weak and frustrated. Understand that your hard work needs a bit of luck and a little bit of intelligence to produce good results. But yes, if you work hard enough, then you can surely overcome the other two factors.

Give your 100% and then see what life has in store for you! Have an awesome year ahead. All the best!